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Archive for May, 2011

Trying Times

I have had the most trying times of my life in the past 3 months.

We nearly lost Ethan back in the beginning of March. He fell very sick with severe croup, Influenza B, and chest pneumonia all within a span of 3 weeks. Ethan spent 10 days in ICU of Toronto Sick Kids’ Hospital, complete with a breathing tube down his airways. His airways was closing up rapidly, and if he had not gotten that tube down him in time, I don’t even want to imagine what kind of damage would have occurred in his little body.

I cannot even begin to describe the horror and anguish that both Wayne and I had to go through together with Ethan. All I can say is that I will not wish such an experience even on my worst enemy.

The good thing is: Ethan pulled out of it, and is back to a very healthy and rambunctious little boy. Every day, I thank the universe, the Lord, and all my lucky stars that he is still alive and still with us. And every time I hug and kiss him, that feeling of gratitude and love that wells up within me still hasn’t cease to overwhelm me.

That was 3 months ago.

And now, back at work, I am faced with a different challenge. My current work environment is not very healthy, and I am seeking hard to get out of the group I am in.

I got a verbal job offer 2 weeks ago on May 13, and my new job would have had better prospects and a better pay. But the job offer was rescinded because my current manager did not give me a good reference. And in the process, I discovered that I was given a subpar performance rating while I was on maternity leave.

Boy, am I super mad and pissed now! To be honest, I don’t recall being this mad and angry ever.

One of the feedback that I got from the whole bullshit was that I don’t push back, and I back down too easily. So, now I am being rated on my personal style at work? I don’t get it.

I am now fighting my manager through HR. And I am going to put up a good fight. I never liked having to go through stuff like that.

But this time is different. This time, I am not just fighting for myself. I am fighting for Ethan too.

There is no way I am going to take such unjust and disgusting treatment without making any noise. What kind of an example and role model will I be to Ethan? I will not have Ethan growing up thinking it is okay for people to walk all over him. No way!

So, enough of this type of bullshit treatment. And enough of all these hush hush, we shouldn’t be talking about things like that in the open attitude.

I have been wronged. I have been unjustly treated. I have been unfairly treated. And I am doing something about it!

Wish me luck as I embark on this journey to fight for what I deserve.

I deserve a good working environment, with a manager that is fair, and does not talk to me as if I am not good enough while on one-on-ones. I deserve to be treated with respect, regardless of my style. I deserve the best.

Till the next time I muse.

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